l
AMA COMPUTER LEARNING CENTER
TACLOBAN
CITY
“I am what I
am because…
I can be
what I want to be because…”
In partial
fulfillment of
the
requirements in
Soc. Sci.
101 – General Psychology
Presented
to:
Jess A. De
Paz
Faculty –
General Education
Presented
by:
Joey D.
Bidan Jr.
MTh 9:00 –
10:30
BSA - 2
I. Introduction
First of
all, I would like to thank our instructor Mr. Jess de Paz for coming up with an
amazing idea for his students to motivate themselves. That is the very purpose
of this paper - motivation. I understand and appreciate the importance of this
endeavor to rekindle our enthusiasm not just in our studies but in our lives.
In this modern age when the youth are not only dependent to their peers but
also to technology and drugs in escaping the reality of their problems,
motivating them to have a purpose is essential. Though Sir de Paz would think
this is just his small attempt in making a change to his students, I believe
this psychological reflection in our past and looking forward to our future is
a giant leap towards our own success.
In the words
of Socrates, “an unexamined life is not worth living.” we should reflect how we
are holding up presently, compared to what we had been in the past so we will
know how to plan our future. I believe this act of reflecting and planning is a
sign of looking for, or even having a purpose. Without a purpose, our life will
be a chaos – without direction and thus, not worth living. We need to examine
our lives the way we check our cars before driving. We have to get ready for
the long journey ahead, improve our attitudes, learn our mistakes and follow
the path to righteousness.
Before we
prepare our paper, Sir de Paz opened a part of his life to us and once more
inspired us with his experience as an honorable person. He opened our mind how
it is possible to harness our potentials; to be independent and responsible
and; make a difference.
As I write
my own paper and looked back to the roots of how I came to be, I gradually
became acquainted to who I really am. From the people that changed me through
heredity and social influences; to what I learned about myself; to my goals and
objectives in life – my perspectives changed.
If this will
be read by my fellow students, I would be glad if I will be able to share and
spread the burning flame of motivation and encourage them to do the same with
their own lives. It is never too late to change for the better.
MY FAMILY TREE
THE PEOPLE IN MY
LIFE AND HOW THEY INFLUENCED ME
They say education starts at
home - and I did learn a lot from my family. Though I only lived with my parents
for a few years before they die, they left me an undeniable mark or shall I say
a significant scar in my life.
Loida Bidan, my mom was the sweetest
loving woman I ever knew as far as my childhood memory could remind me. She
dropped college when she got pregnant of me and eloped with dad which is a
shame since she was running for Summa Cum Laude during her time. Nevertheless,
it was not a waste since she passed on her wisdom to her children – she was a
great teacher to us. Before she tragically died when I was nine, she did not
fail to impart to us morals like dignity, respect on others and perseverance.
She so carefully imbibed to us such values for us to be successful and continue
the ambitions she failed to achieve.
Joey Bidan Sr., my dad was my mom’s
antithesis – her complete opposite. He’s a melancholic man who always looks angry with the
world. Most of my relatives who know our story would say that they see my dad
in me and I honestly hate thinking about it. When I said he “died”, I did not
literally mean it like that. It’s just that he took off when mom was dying and
did not return even on her burial so all of us assumed he may (or should be) dead up to this time. There were confirmed
rumors that he left us for his second family which eventually made me his scapegoat – I took all his blame on me. The
burden of growing up hearing how my adopted family point out those little
similarities with him in every mistake I do, make me feel an outcast in my own home.
My upbringing was an intense pressure especially if they remind me every day to
strive harder so I could avenge my mom someday. Avenge her for what? Work my
way to consistent honor roll so someday I could kill him? This idea of heartbreaking hatred on him, all that pain made me push harder and at the same time rebellious, making my
dad the most influential person in my life even without his presence.
Shirly Dichos, my grandma was an epitome of an emotionally strong person. I
learned the truth about humility and generosity from her. She will always
remind us about doing good to others so that others may do good unto us as
well. Somehow I noticed that was not the case because no matter how generous
she is to our neighbors, friends and relatives, she will often get repaid with
bad gossips. My Lola, though the golden rule seems to never apply to her did
not mind it and will still tell us to “continue doing good since our Father in heaven who smiles
in what we do knows how to repay us.” This giving without waiting for something
in return baffled my selfish ego. How could she smile giving, knowing she will
just be backstabbed in return? How could she lend money to those whom she knew
will never pay? I found out this simple truth in life when my Lola the
“people-pleaser” tragically died. Our house was fully-packed with people from
our baranggay and people from far places giving respect and gratitude to this
person who was good to them. When I cried looking down on her coffin, I saw her
smiling face and I learned that the ultimate
purpose in her life is the joy of giving. Even in her
death she had contentment and simple happiness.
Rodolfo Dichos, my grandpa was a jack-of-all-trades. He’s a tailor, tinker,
carpenter, painter, interior decorator, repairman, sailor and chef. I idolized
him for his flexibility, persistence and integrity. His amazing experiences in
life, the adventures that he had when he was travelling around the country from
Aparri to Jolo, from Malacanang Palace to the Muslim warzone of Maguindanao
inspired me. Most of the time when I listen to his stories, it made me think
that it is not the experience that I was amazed about but the person himself.
How he survived those difficulties during the Marcos regime, how he managed to
mingle with violent MILF rebels I would say that is because of his personality.
He has this jolly nature and power of persuasion that lowers your guard. My
Lolo would always say, “Learn how to fix things without being told to do so.
Learn to have PR.” What he’s saying is for me to have initiative to solve my own problems without
relying on other people. When
he talks about PR (i.e. People Relations), he will always emphasize to humble
myself to gain respect from other people, befriend them and learn to persuade
them because that is the only way I will be safe in this violent world. I was
able to save myself in tight situations because of that.
Ramel Dichos, my uncle reminds me of what
they call as “frenemy” (i.e. friend/enemy), we really never get along well ever
since my mom died - worse, when my dad ran away. He and my mom are more like
bestfriends that is why when he can’t get a hold of my dad, he would turn his
anger on me since I’m like my dad’s mirror image. There are times that we’ll
laugh at each other’s jokes during meals but there are times that we get
physically violent especially when he’s drunk. At first, the violence on my
part was just self-defense but later on I realized I lost my respect on him.
Don’t get me wrong but no matter how his treatment on me hurts, I understand
what he’s going through. He never moved on with grandma and mom’s passing away.
Every time I look at him wasted when he’s drunk, it pinches my heart to think I
don’t want to be like him. His pitiful image encourages me to finish school and
help him move on.
Cathy Dichos, my auntie was the “black sheep” of the family. I don’t want to
tell the details of what she did but I would say that she gave the least
relevant impact on me. The only thing that I learned from her life is to be
practical for the sake of my kids than to be martyr for an unfaithful person
for the sake of my undying love. If you didn’t get what I mean, just know when
to leave your lover if he will do damage to you and your kid’s life.
Ronnie Dichos, my uncle is a person of self-sacrifice. Compared to his brother
and sisters, I admire him for his persistence. He works abroad for more than
twenty years now, gave up marriage and his own happiness just to establish his
family. He persisted and never gave up though his job is dangerous, though he
is the only seaman in town who doesn’t have a car, though I failed to graduate,
though grandma – his sole inspiration died and even though the neighborhood is
laughing at our status. He’s the only breadwinner that provided the family’s
even our meddling relatives’ needs. Sometimes I don’t understand where he gets
his patience and optimism. Whatever reason he has, he made the largest change
in the lives of our family.
REALIZATION AND WHAT I LEARNED ABOUT
MYSELF
Norman Vincent Peale once said “change your thoughts and you change the world.”
I finally realized that change comes from within me. At first, I was doubtful
about my capabilities. I always had that feeling of inferiority which I learned
was rooted from my frustrations in my family and in the judging eyes of
society.
I was
shy, lonely and rebellious that I failed from graduating but I noticed the
change started when I began to work. My working environment in the call center
industry especially in an open-minded culture in Cebu, forced me to interact
with people to get my daily job done. Being there for a year gradually
transformed me from being self-destructive to being optimistic, responsible and
independent without being aware of it. When I returned to school to finish the
few years I have left to graduate I realized I finally got out of my shell.
Like a moth that got out of its cocoon - an amazing metamorphosis that helped
me a lot by going beyond the limitations of the inherited traits and the
influences of my family. George Elliot was right when he said, “It is never too
late to be what you might have been.”
Eventually I
thought, everyone wants to change for the better and I need a good vision about
tomorrow. My goals in life as I envision them to achieve are first, graduate
and pass the CPA Board exam with something my family will be proud of like
being one of the topnotchers since that is my uncle’s dream for me. (He never
stopped believing no matter how many times I failed him.) Then, I would also
love to work abroad in places I only dream of. Through perseverance, my ultimate
goal is to build my family a decent house and a business to tend to like a
hardware store or grocery whichever comes first. Along the way, find the woman
I would love to spend the rest of my life with. One may laugh at these
ambitious goals I aspire to achieve yet I already set my focus to prove my
critics that they are wrong. It made me think what Mae Jemison said, “It’s your
place in the world; it’s your life. Go on and do all you can with it, and make
it the life you want to live.”
Nothing is impossible, the word itself says, “I’m possible!” as Audrey Hepburn
would say. I set my goals, I believe in my potentials and no doubt IT IS POSSIBLE that I will achieve all of them. I
will stay motivated every single day to get there and keep that flame of
intense willingness to achieve my dreams and be who I want to be.
MY BEST
QUOTES THAT GUIDED ME
“Life is 10%
what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.” – Charles R. Swindoll
“What lies
behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within
us.” – Henry Stanley Haskins
“When
everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off
against the wind, not with it.” –Henry Ford
“You may be
disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try.” –Beverly Sills
“In order to
succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.”
–Bill Cosby
CONCLUSION
ABOUT PERSONALITY
What I learned so far as I looked back on the things I’ve done, on the person
I’ve been I could say that, there was already a permanent change on my behavior
– on my personality as a whole. I have changed for the better. I learned to
have the serenity to accept the things I could not change; the courage to
change the things I can and; the wisdom to know the difference. It doesn’t
matter what trials God will be giving me for I will just humbly say, “Go ahead
bend me, for like a bamboo after the wind I will remain standing tall.” It
doesn’t matter where He will lead me but how I get there.
Once I was blind but now I see.
*****
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